1. Change YOUR attitude about failing
Be mindful of your own responses to mistakes and failures.
Talk about what you’ve learned and be willing to pick yourself up and try again.
Encourage and celebrate your child’s mistakes as learning experiences.
2. emphasize effort, not an ability
Emphasize effort and the process itself over the actual outcome (ability).
When they struggle, discuss specific strategies that might work next time.
3. demonstrate unconditional love
Make it clear that you love your child unconditionally, even when
they make mistakes or use poor judgment.
4. CONDUCT THE “WORST-CASE SCENARIO” EXERCISE
Start by grabbing a piece of paper so you can brainstorm together
with your child.
Ask them questions like: “If it all goes wrong, what’s the worst thing
that could happen?”
5. HELP THEM FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION
Discuss what actions to take and the consequences of these actions.
If you are discussing a problem that has occured and you are trying to
diminish the anxiety level about the event, let them not focus on the event
itself, but rather on the ways how these consequences can be avoided in
the future. Ask questions like: “What went wrong?” and “How can we fix or
prevent this next time?”
6. have conversations about the connection between success and failure
Talk about success using the “iceberg analogy”.
Explain that when you see successful people, you only see the tip of the
iceberg. You don’t see what’s “under the water”; failures, rejection, discipline,
persistance, effort and never giving up.
"Hatred never ends hatred, only love does." -M. Ghandi